A Broken Mind
by ShadowbladeAutobot
Summary: Shadowblade misses Starscream.So in her misery,she looks for him. But when she finds him,he's been tortured and raped.When in his recovery,she tries to find out who did it to him and tries to comfort him.But when she finds out who did this to her mate,someone's going to end up offlined.SSXOC T because of mention and description of rape!Maybe some sexual stuff later
1. Memories

A Broken Mind

"Good morning Shadowblade." Optimus said groggily, rubbing the sleep from his left optic.

"Good morning Optimus!" She said happily with a smile.

He just smiled. She was up so early and so cheerful, and he just woke up and still trying to reboot his systems. She turned around and went back on to searching for a signal.

"Why energon?" He asked.

"I think we just need some more for back-up." She answered.

Optimus noticed something different in her tone.

"Blade, what's wrong?" He asked

She turned back to face him. He noticed her optics start to tear up slightly and she was frowning.

"I…I miss Starscream. So, I'm looking for his energon signal. Is that ok?"

He gave her a smile. He walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"It's for you and your love for your mate, its fine with me." Optimus said gently.

Her frown became a bright smile as she wrapped her arms around Prime. Optimus hesitated for a moment, and then hugged her back.

"Thank you Optimus."

He smiled.

"You're welcome Blade."

He felt her spark pound against him. She had been so scared to ask. He began to wonder "Why?"

"Blade you know I would've said it's fine. Why were you so nervous?"

"Because you're Prime. I'm always afraid you'll reject me, kick me out, everything."

"Blade you're my closest friend. Decepticon or not, I wouldn't reject you or anything," He said, "Because you actually listen to me without judging me for being a Prime."

She remembered Starscream saying something like that because of how harsh he was after the death of his two brothers. But all he wanted was just someone to listen.

"Why? Did everyone else judge you?" She asked him.

She leaned back to meet his optics. The baby blue optics she liked to see. But all she saw was his sadness.

"Optimus, please tell me." She pleaded.

He let out a stuttered sigh.

"Everyone thinks I don't have emotions because of the Matrix, but in reality it doesn't limit my emotions. I feel happiness, sadness, anger, every emotion…and I always have to hide them. It was almost impossible when Elita…" He went silent.

He leaned over and dug his faceplates into her shoulder and silently began to sob. His arms tightened around her frame. Shadowblade gently rubbed up and down the Primes' backstrut with one hand while the other was still tightly wrapped around his lower back.

"Shh," She cooed, "It's ok, I'm here."

"Elita would've been your mate and I'm sorry what happened to her. She's in a better place now. But there's still someone out there for you, don't worry." Shadowblade told him softly.

She felt like she was talking to a sparkling when they lose a pet. But this was Optimus Prime. This was different. This was about his love for a femme who got killed the day he was going to make her his mate…a horrible, tragic day. The memory flashed through her helm and then she thought about how depressed he was and how he somehow held in the tears and cries when he saw her lifeless frame. He was so strong that day, but now I didn't matter. He needed someone to listen. Then she thought of her mate. When he lost his brothers, he couldn't stop crying. All day and night he cried. But she was there with him to comfort him like right now with Optimus.

Optimus kept seeing Elita's lifeless frame in his helm. The horror of seeing her like that. Her frame being tied to the berth frame, legs spread open, with an open valve covered in fluids of another mech, her frame covered in gashes and bruises, and her spark ripped from her chest lying right next to her lifeless frame. The most horrifying thing was her expression. The wide optics, her mouth gaped open slightly to cry out when she couldn't. That expression haunted him. He began to sob harder.

"Elita…" He whimpered.

"Shh, it's ok Optimus." Shadowblade kept cooing to him softly.

XXXXXX  
After about an hour of his sobbing, he stopped and got himself back together pretty quickly. He wiped away his tears and let out a final hiccup-like sigh. His tear glazed optics met Shadowblade's.

"Thank you Blade." He said with gratefulness.

She gave him a warm smile, hoping to cheer him up some more.

"You're welcome Optimus."

He gave her a weak smile. Her hands went up and they widened his smile some more and she giggle. He gave her a real smile and let out a small chuckle. A beeping sound got their attention. Shadowblade looked over her shoulder to the computer screen and her smile got wider. It got an energon signal. Starscream's energon signal.

XXXXXXX

I know I've made WAY too many stories, but I'm almost finished with one and the other two just need some inspiration. But this is one that's been haunting me for months. I wanted to make Starscream have a sense of anger because of something so I made that his brothers were dead. That came from a different author so that idea really belongs to them. What do you think of Elita One's death there? I know it's graphic and I know it's "not cool" to kill a character like her, but she's not in the show (Ik, lame reason -_-) so I decided to try and make like something happened to her. Don't kill me! **R&R** **Please!**


	2. Starscream's Signal

A Broken Mind

Ch. 2: Starscream's signal

Shadowblade quickly went over to the computer and typed a few things in and it confirmed it. It was Starscreams' energon signal. Shadowblade was about ready to bounce up and down in her excitement. Optimus walked up behind her. She turned around to face him with a happy smile.

"Can I go?" She asked him.

Optimus was about to say yes when he noticed the signal blink in one area. That's not normal.

"Blade, the signal hasn't moved. He's most of the time on the move, isn't he?"

She turned around and saw he was right.

"Yeah. This can't be good then."

"Why?"

"If he stops in one area, most of the time he's injured or trying to make a secret base. Hopefully he's not injured."

"He shouldn't be Blade, don't worry."

"What if I leave and someone needs me?"

"Blade, go. I'll just say you went out for a fly." Optimus told her.

She wrapped her arms around the Prime.

"Thank you Optimus."

He hugged her back.

"You're welcome Blade."

She released her hold and went towards the entry. She looked back to see Optimus staring back at her. He nodded. And with a smile, she left.

I know this is a short chapter. I had no ideas :P Next chapter will be longer. I promise. **R&R Please**


	3. A Horrible Finding

Broken Mind

Ch. 3: A Horrible Finding

Shadowblade transformed about a few feet off the ground from the location where her mates signal was. She dropped out of the sky and landed right in front of a cave. She looked into it the pitch black cave and saw nothing. She turned her back to the cave opening, thinking that maybe he moved, and hoping he didn't. That's when she caught a familiar sound. She turned around and went dead silent to listen. She heard…sobbing.

She took a step forward toward the opening, then another, and another. It seemed soo dark as she continued deeper into the cave. The sobbing seemed to get louder as she continued into the darkness, but no sign of a light or life. She walked further into the pitch black cave, scared of the dark but determined to find the source of the sound. She looked back to see just the faint light of the opening and let out a small sigh and continued on.

The weeping got louder every now and then, and then it would get soft. It was familiar. Realization hit her. Only Starscream cried like that! She began to run. She had to find him. If he was sobbing, it was not good. She slid to a halt when there was a split in her path. Her helm shot left to right, not knowing where to go. She placed her servo on the rough cave walls and felt something wet. At first, she thought it was water, and then she took a closer look. She scanned it and to her horror, it was energon. She slid the same hand across the wall and felt the energon on it and followed it. After a little while of walking, following the still fresh energon on the walls, she saw a faint glow of light. The sobbing seemed to soften, though she could still hear it. She walked till the wall ended, which was at a small drop. And there was source of the light and weeping. The sight was horrifying.

Starscream had his knees pulled up tightly to his chest as he leaned forward with his arms on his knees, crying into them. His frame was covered in gashes and dents and some of his armor had been torn apart. His wings were damaged the most. The light was a hologram photo of her. It flashed and blurred as the hologram projector began to die.

She took another step and accidently knocked a rock of the top of the drop. It hit the wall with a "crack" and the already scared Starscream jumped and immediately aimed at the top of the small drop and fired. Shadowblade jumped. The loud "boom" of the blast echoed slightly. She did a flip and landed on her pedes right beside the hologram. Small flaming rocks bumped her shining armor, making a hissing sound as it felt to the ground. She turned to see her mate, aiming his missiles at her. He was shaking horribly. She looked straight into his optics and her spark sank. His optics were full of fear and sorrow. They had a pleading sense to them, as if saying;

"_Don't hurt me." _

Shadowblade took a step.

"S-stop!" Starscream shouted weakly, "Who, who are you? What do you want?"

"It's ok Starscream, it's me." She said softly, taking another step closer.

"N-no! Not you!" He shrieked.

She took another step and her gentle servos gripped his fist.

"Starscream, it's me. Shadowblade, your mate."

"S-shadow?"

He started to lower his arms as she leaned closer to him.

"It's alright, I won't hurt you. I'm right here for you." Her servo released his fist and gently touched his cheek. He cringed away from her touch.

"It's alright, I'm here now." She said softly, wrapping her arms around her abused mate. He let out a soft whimper.

"Shadowblade, I-I missed you."

"I've missed you to." She said, tenderly stroking a small spot on his wings, "What happened to you?"

"You don't want to know." He muttered.

"Look, Star, it's me. You can tell me anything."

"Don't call me that!" He said in a stern and scared voice.

"Why? I thought you…" He interrupted her quickly.

"Just don't call me that for right now!" He whimpered, "Just, not right now."

His voice cracked and tears were running down his cheek plates again. She pulled him close to her and he rested his helm on her shoulder. And without any seems of hesitation, he began to cry.

"Starscream, don't cry. Everything is alright. I'm right here." She told him gently.

"I-I was so scared…*sniff*…I didn't k-know what to do. *Sniff* I ran here, hoping that I would escape…and then I thought about what would happen if I…" He went silent, "If I had died here. I wondered if you would miss me or be happy that I was gone. I…I wanted to know." He sobbed.

"Starscream, I would miss you. I had missed you so much I went out to find you. That is what led me here to find you. I missed you. I love you." She told him, "Now, we must get you out of here."

She tried to stand up, but Starscream was holding her down, like a sparkling that didn't want its mother to leave. She let out a soft sigh.

"No, please don't go. Stay."

"Starscream, you're in a horrible condition! We need to get you…"

"No!" He shrieked.

His tone softened.

"Just, stay here with me. Please? Just for a little while." He pleaded.

She sighed and nodded.

But what surprised her was when he opened his arms wide for her. For _her_. She thought _she_ was going to be holding him, not him holding her. She smiled and, as gently as she could, rested herself down onto him. She rested down on his lap and leaned up against him, her helm resting up against his shoulder. His left arm wrapped around her waist snugly. His hand slid across her cheek.

"Shadowblade, I love you. I love you so much." He said softly.

Shadowblade smiled.

"I love you to Starscream."

She glanced at the hologram. The light was fading more and more. She reached out to pull it closer, but Starscream gripped her servo. She glanced back at him.

"Don't. It's the only light I've got."

She pointed to a small cylinder on her waist.

"Starscream, I have a flashlight. We're fine. But the hologram is dying. I'm going to turn it off to recharge for the moment. Is that alright?" She asked.

He nodded slowly and released her servo. She pulled the hologram closer before turning it off. The cave was now pitch black.

"I know this sounds really pathetic, but, I'm scared." He whimpered.

"It's ok, I'm right here Starscream." She said as she leaned back against him.

She looked up and kissed his cheek.

"Sweet dreams, my sweet shadow." He said.

"Sweet dreams, my silly mate." She answered back.

She yawned before slowly falling asleep in his arms. Him right after.

Yeah! Finished! At least with this part :P

Buuuuuuuut, I got this finished. I know I made Starscream there look really pathetic but there is a reason. **Review please :)**


	4. Taking in Starscream

A Broken Mind

Chapter 4: Taking in Starscream

Shadowblade woke up slowly. Her vision was dark at first as she woke up. She reached down to her belt and pulled out her flashlight. She flipped it on. The room brightened slightly.

"Nice to see you're awake." Starscream whispered.

She gazed up at him.

"How long have you been awake?" She asked.

"A few hours."

"Why? Are you ok?" His mate asked in worry.

"Just a nightmare, nothing serious." He said calmly.

She wasn't convinced about that.

"Look, we need to get you to the autobot base. You need to get fixed up."

His optics narrowed on hers.

"No! They'll kill me before I even say "I'm harmless"!" He screeched.

She pecked his lips.

"No they won't. I make sure they won't" She whispered.

Her optics met his. It was easy to see the fear in them. She got on top of him, being careful of his wounds. With her face only inches away from his, she kissed him hard. Starscream kissed back just as hard, knocking her back a bit. His glossa fought with hers for dominance over their mouths. She sent her glossa out, entangling it with her mates. She leaned forward, making their lips meet once more. He came up for a second of air before kissing from the corner of her mouth down her neck. She let out a moan, telling him he was doing well. He stopped at the crook in her neck before going back up and kissing her cheek. She gazed into his optics and smiled. She could see the happiness that now in them. The fear was gone. He pecked her lips. He leaned in to her audio receptors.

"I've missed make out moments." He whispered. "And I've missed you."

"I've missed you to." She whispered.

She looked down at the flashlight that was next to her mate. She picked it up and pointed it at the barely visible ledge. It was blocked by rocks. That's when she remembered that Starscream had shot at her. She looked back at her mate.

"You think you have enough energy to shoot it?" She asked.

"Shadowblade, I just made out with you, I'm pretty sure I have energy to blow a blockade to bits." He chuckled.

She giggled softly. He made a fist and aimed it towards the blockage.

"You may want to cover you receptors." He warned.

She didn't want to argue with, so she did as he said. The rocket fired, kicking his arm back slightly, almost hitting his mate in the back. Bits and pieces of rocks scattered everywhere. Starscream pulled his mate to his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her frame, trying his best to protect her from the flying debris. After the rocks settled and the dust faded, he released his mate. She looked over her shoulder to see the path clear again. She climbed off of her mate. She looked down at him and held down her servo for him.

"Can you stand?" She asked him.

He nodded and grabbed her servo. She lifted him up and he took a step forward just to fall to his knees. She got down next to him quickly.

"Are you ok?" She asked in a panic.

He nodded.

"I just need a little help." He said softly.

She put his arm over her shoulder and the other on his waist and helped him up. She slowly took a step, Starscream right with her. It took only a few steps to get there, but now there was a problem. How to get up there? That's when she got an idea.

"Starscream, I'm going to hoist you up there. Is that ok?"

"I guess, yeah."

He put one hand on the wall and the other at his side, waiting for his mate. He lifted his foot and his mate put her hands underneath it and pushed up, sending her mate up the small ledge. He gripped a jagged upward pointing rock and helped himself up. He looked down on his mate and reached a servo down to her. She shook her helm.

"Starscream, I'll just climb up, there's no need to hurt yourself lifting me up." She told him.

He retracted his hand and just watched his mate climb up.

She made it up in no time. She helped her mate up as she did before, arm over her shoulder, servo on his waist. Her pace was normal and her mate kept up with her. He held the flashlight in his free servo, leading them through the dark cave.

* * *

After what almost felt like hours, they made it out. He turned off the flashlight and handed it to his mate. The servo on his waist came up and took it and placed it on her waist. She then placed him down gently against the rock wall next to the opening of the cave. Then she reached up to her audio receptors. She clicked a small button and called into base. Optimus Prime answered.

"Blade! Where have you been!? It's been 24 hours since you left, what happened!?" He asked in a panic.

"Optimus, I just took a nap with my mate. Nothing bad happened to me. But that is also why I'm calling in to base. I need a ground bridge here, stat."

"Why? Are you hurt?"

"No, but Starscream is critically injured and he needs medical treatment, he can barely move, so I doubt he can transform. I just need a ground bridge."

"You know Arcee isn't going to like this."

"I know," She said, "but she can suck it up. We are autobots. We help the ones who need help, no matter what side their one."

"The ground bridge will open in few seconds."

She pressed the button again, ending the call. She looked back over to her mate, who now had his servo on wing.

"Is everything alright?" She asked.

His helm turned to her then back at his wing.

"I think there's something written on my wings, but I can't see it." He said with one servo reaching across his chest, feeling the markings imbedded on the back in his wing.

A green flash caught the corner of her optic. She looked over her shoulder to see the ground bridge open, waiting for them. She got down and grabbed her mates arm and lifted it over her shoulder. She gripped his hip and helped him up. He made her walk slowly now that the wounds were starting to bleed again.

* * *

Just as they made through, the ground bridge closed and Arcee was standing with her blasters in Starscream face. He snarled at her.

"Arcee, stand down!" Shadowblade ordered harshly.

"So this was your idea to bring him!?"

"He is injured! He needed the help!"

"Arcee! Stand down!" The booming voice of Optimus commanded.

Arcee looked over her shoulder to see Optimus Prime staring at her. She slowly lowered her blasters before transforming them back into her hands. Optimus walked over to them and Arcee moved out of his way.

"Are you two alright?" He asked.

"Do I look alright!?" Starscream shouted.

"Starscream, calm down." Shadowblade hissed glaring at him.

"I'll take that as a no." Was all Optimus said.

"Is Ratchet here?" She asked.

"Yes, he is. Just set Starscream down on the medic berth and I'll call him in." The prime said.

Shadowblade began to walk to the table with Starscream keeping a close optic on the autobots that were staring at them. She gently rested him down on the medical berth. Optimus left the center of the base to get Ratchet.

"Um, Screamer, your wings have Megatron's name on them." Bulkhead said.

Starscream froze. He let out a soft growl before lying down on his back. He stared up at the ceiling and let out a soft sigh. Shadowblade looked at him with saddened optics.

"Did he do this to you?" She asked softly.

"I-I can't remember." He said softly, closing his optics.

Shadowblade gently rested her servo on his wing. She could see him grit his dental and his frame stiffened up in pain. She slowly and tenderly began to stroke his wing. His frame soon loosened up as she stroked his wing.

"Shadowblade," He said softly.

"Yes, Starscream?"

"Thank you, for saving me."

She smiled.

"You're welcome."

She leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you to."

Her other servo found his and entangled them with each other. A small smile covered his beaten faceplates. He slowly faded into recharge as he began to relax. He let out a small purr of pleasure before falling into recharge.

* * *

He saw himself with his mate snuggled up to him, recharging. He smiled and kissed the top of her helm. Then she disappeared. He sat up in worry. He looked around the dark room in a hurry, searching for his suddenly disappearing lover. Just for Megatron to appear out of the darkness, a large smirk on his face. He hovered over the frightened Starscream and kissed him. Starscream fought against him, but didn't have enough strength to get him off. Megatron broke the kiss and grabbed the seekers arms and held them above the seekers helm.

"Wha-what are you doing?" Starscream cried, struggling against the larger mechs' grip.

"I know you've been have wanting to get fragged by me. You're going to get your wish."

He began to attack

the frightened seekers neck. He kissed his neck tenderly, looking for his sweet spot. The seeker withered underneath him, holding back moans.

"S-s-stop!" He screeched in desperation.

Megatron's scarlet optics gazed up at the seeker. He kissed his neck before looming over the smaller mech.

"I thought you always wanted a male lover, Star?" Megatron growled.

"No! I-I love Shadowblade!" He shouted in defense.

The larger mech just smirked and kissed him. He came up for air and then went back down his neck. He kissed it mockingly, trying to get the seeker to moan. He noticed Starscream fight them back. His kisses turned into nibbles. He nibbled a wire in his neck and Starscream let out a small moan that he fought back to contain. His face turned bright red in embarrassment. The war lord bit down hard on his neck, making the seeker cry out in pain.

"Wake up!" Starscream shouted to himself, "Wake up!"

Megatron just snickered.

"You won't wake from this dream. Not for a while, Star."

Starscream closed his optics. He felt so violated by Megatron. He was so scared and violated. He cried out when he felt a second mech kiss his wings. That wasn't Megatron. And he realized he wasn't in a dream or a nightmare. He was in a memory.

* * *

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Done! Wow it has been a while. I really don't know what to say except I am kind of proud of this. But R&R please


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